What Women Want
by screwthevolturiimgoinghome
Summary: Something strange happens to playboy Edward Cullen when he begins writing a weekly column for his Moms magazine. Can't summarise to save my life. Just read. E/B AH OOC
1. PrologueIntroduction

**AN: So this is my new story. I haven't given up on Consequences or Daddy Wasn't There but I feel I need to get this one down before I forget where I'm going with it.**

**And If you can't legally buy cigarettes you're too young for this story. My favourite fic has been pulled and I'm pissed. **

Prologue/ Introduction:

To say I had an easy job would be blasphemy. I, Edward Anthony Cullen, had the easiest motherfucking job in the entire universe. Fact. My Mom owned 'Fille' magazine, the biggest selling fashion magazine in the U.S. To be frank this was just one of her many investments, but easily her favourite. She 'employed' me to oversee the management process of her precious magazine. This basically meant she poured more money than I will ever be able to spend into my bank account and I went to fancy parties and rubbed shoulders with the stars. I made a few appearances at the magazine every now and then but really all I had to do was make sure the editor showed up for work. Which I never even had to bother checking. I knew she'd always be there.

Our family were always in the headlines, my Mom had gotten us used to the limelight from a young age, we were the most talked about family in New York. My Dad owned McCarty General. Though it was a Proprietary hospital he paid his staff exceedingly well and turned over any profit to his and Mom's charity.

My lifestyle meant I had any snatch I wanted, whenever I wanted. I could probably get a lot of peen too but I'm not into that shit, literally. I'd had a handful of relationships but I wasn't a one woman man. I always ended up fucking their friends or twin sisters. Though I could not actually be blamed for that one. They were fucking identical!

I lived in the penthouse suite of my hotel and had a parking garage full of shit hot imported cars all customised of course, I fucked any woman I wanted, I had a sweet ass job, More money than I can count and the world was my fucking oyster. Life couldn't get any better.


	2. Chapter 1: My Mom Said Fuck?

**AN: I don't own Twilight but if I did I'd be fucking minted.**

**If you aren't old enough to purchase your own porn then you're too young to read this story so press the back button and invest in a fake ID.**

Chapter 1: _My Mom Said Fuck!?_

I was scheduled to meet with my Mom and her editor that day and of course they wanted to meet me at 'Fille'

I had knocked back far too many Jack and gingers the night before and my head was fucking pounded. All I wanted to do was lay in bed all day, but someone had programmed an alarm into my cell that kept repeating every 2 fucking minutes. There was no way I would have gotten away with missing a meeting with my Mom either.

As I strolled through the glass panelled hallways at 'Fille' I smirked every time someone did a double take to check if it really was me. As I passed the reception desk I noticed 2 young girls whispering, not noticing I was there. I slid my wayfarers down my nose and nodded my head at them.

"Ladies." I even added a little wink for effect. I knew it made them wet. I could tell by the way their eyelids got heavy. I saw the frizzy ginger one fanning herself with a notebook out of the corner of her eye. I carried on my trek through the hallways, I heard a loud clacking noise like high heels on concrete behind me.

"Mr Cullen, Sir!" It was the anorexic looking chick from the reception desk she was running after me. I held in a grimace. Skeletons weren't my thing. When she finally caught up to me I looked her up and down. How did she run in heels with legs that skinny, they were like toothpicks. When I raised my eyes to her face waiting for her to continue I noticed she was staring. Sick.

"Walk and talk sugar." I stepped forward and gestured for her to continue. As much as I wanted to tell her to fuck off I couldn't be rude here. My Mom would have my nuts. As I turned to her the ginger fuzz ball appeared on her other side.

_The fuck did she come from?_

"Right, yes, of course, sorry sir, Mr Cullen, Sir." She stumbled over her words trying to get them out too quickly. She took a deep breath and continued at a human pace. "On behalf of everyone here I'd like to welcome you to 'Fille' it really is a pleasure to have you here, if you should need anything, anything at all please don't hesitate to ask my assistant Vicky." I think she gestured to ginger nut but I couldn't swear on it, I was trying to tune her out. My head was fucking pounding and her nasally little voice was getting on my tits. We came to the end of the corridor and I looked to Pro-Ana not sure whether to go left or right. She smiled and held her arm to the right. A few steps in to the new hallway I heard a familiar voice behind me.

"Jessica, we both know my office is this way, put the nice man down and go back to reception."

I turned to see a tiny woman with jet black hair hair looking bored in the hallway we'd be in had we gone left. Her hands were on her hips and she was tapping her foot against the laminate flooring impatiently. Anorexicca dropped her head and scurried back the way we'd come her fucking heels 'clacking' all the way down the corridor. I took a step towards the angry little woman as she opened her mouth again.

"And you, aren't you from housekeeping?" Ginger nodded before she too ran off back down the corridor.

I smiled warmly walking towards the little woman, my arms outstretched.

"Alice.."

"Don't Alice me you jack off you're a half hour late, get your ass in there and sit the fuck down." I did as I was told mostly because she was fucking scary. If I didn't know she'd kick my ass into next week I would have laughed at her short little arms waving around at me.

As I took a seat in the plush eggplant armchair she starting yapping again.

"And take off your damn sunglasses, you're indoors now and you just look like a douche."

Alice was the only woman, besides my Mom, allowed to boss me around. She was like a sister. She was always around when we were kids. See Alice was the reason my parents started their charity.

Alice's father was killed in a car accident on his way home from work the day Alice's Mom, Mary, was going to tell him she was pregnant. Mary had grown up in an orphanage and had no family of her own. She waited tables at a diner until she got so huge she physically couldn't do it any more. She had no medical insurance and the little money her husband left didn't even cover half of her hospital bills. Mary was a frequent visitor of her local pawn shop, she sold everything she owned just to keep Alice in diapers. When there was nothing left to sell Mary had no choice but to sell her body. That's how she met my father. Mary was working the streets one night when she was attacked by a 'client' He beat her violently until she was knocked unconscious and he ran, taking her nights takings with him. Mary's neighbour, Siobhan, went out looking for her after she didn't return to collect Alice. She found Mary and brought her to McCarty General. Mom and Dad were at the hospital that night meeting with the chief of medicine. They happened to be walking through the ER when Mary was brought in. After hearing about Mary's situation my Dad insisted on treating her himself. Mary was in the hospital for several months, her injuries were that severe. Several times she tried to run claiming she couldn't afford the bills but every time she tried she only made her injuries worse. Mary refused help from my parents at first but you just can't say no to my Mom. A week later Mary and Alice were living in the annexe of our house. Mom and Dad started their charity 'The Cullen Family Foundation'. CFF helped widows and kids who lost parents. Anyway my Dad got Mary a job in the cafeteria in the hospital and she was back on her feet within a month. She rented a little apartment across from the hospital big enough for her and Alice and while she worked Alice stayed at our house. Alice became the reason for almost all of my parents 'do-gooding'. Whenever Alice needed new clothes, Mom would suddenly have a kids fashion section in the magazine and when they were done shooting Alice would get all the clothes. When Alice wanted to go to college and study fashion Mom and Dad started their scholarship program. Etc. Etc. Truth was the second Alice walked into our lives she had us all wrapped around her little finger. She may have looked all sweet and innocent as a kid but me and Emmett learnt the hard way not to piss her off.

We spent the summer at the house in England and of course Alice came with us. Emmett was 13, I was 12 and Alice was 10. Emmett and I were goofing around on the tennis court when we spotted Alice watching the fish in the lake. We crept up behind her and pushed her in. Not only did Alice give us both broken noses and black eyes but she dyed every item of clothing we brought with us pink. Mom and Dad wouldn't even buy us new clothes because we 'brought it upon ourselves.'

"... and what's more if Jasper ever comes home in that state again I will be wearing your bollocks as earrings!.."

Aahh Jasper Whitlock. Jasper was a great guy. Admittedly when he and Alice first started dating I was a jerk to him. You see Alice never judged anyone not a soul, she always saw the best in everyone. I was captain of the football team, the coolest guy in the school and Jazz, well he was in the school marching band. Probably the uncoolest guy in school. Mom made us go to a regular high school, apparently we needed a bit of normality. What about high school is fucking normal? Anyway when I found out Jasper had asked Alice to the homecoming dance I nearly pissed myself laughing. In one of my more asshole moments, I slipped laxatives into his pepsi before one of his big recitals. To cut a long story short he shat his pants in front of the entire school and the marching band uniform was white. Alice still went with him though. Jasper quickly became Jasper Shitlock and was the brunt of everyone's jokes and then I made things worse by fucking his Mom.

Charlotte Whitlock was a MILF. She was tall with olive skin, long blonde hair and the most perfect tits. Her plastic surgeon knew his shit. Charlotte was the first woman to ever let me put it in her ass and for that I am thankful. Don't get me wrong I fucking love pussy but as is always tight. An added bonus? Charlotte loved it when I came on her face. Fucking slut.

Jazz and I made our peace after he picked my ass up off the street after prom. I'd drunk some chicks punch instead of mine which in a way turned out to be a blessing in disguise because it was laced with Rufys. I saved her from getting date raped and in return got a pretty fucking awesome best friend. Jazz found me passed out in the car park of Walmart. Fuck knows how I got there. He took me to his house and let me sleep in his bed. Of course at the time he didn't know I'd had his Mom in the shitter there the night before. Anyway, when I woke up in the morning confused as hell as to how I got there he started threatening me that if I didn't stop fucking his Mom he'd show everyone the pictures he'd photoshopped of me in a gay orgy. He actually still has a copy he keeps in his wallet in case I need my ass putting back in line.

".. Jessica has to go. I mean seriously she thinks she runs this place and if I have to hear her knock off Jimmy Choo's clacking against these floors much longer ...."

There was a reason Mom employed Alice as her editor. Beside the fact she might as well change her fucking name to Cullen. Alice Brandon knew her shit. In fact I'd go as far as saying she had an obsession with fashion. It was all my Mom's fault really. Alice used to spend Saturdays at 'Fille' with my Mom. Apparently she used to fuck with all the collections, rearranging the clothing rails before a shoot to what she thought looked better. She was always right of course because she's never wrong. Ever. Anyway while she was at college she spent her summers interning at the magazine. She graduated and immediately my Mom handed her a job as Carmen's, the previous editor, assistant. Carmen quickly got sick of being told what to do by her assistant and quit. Alice got her job and has been running it since. She did a pretty good job too, Carmen was losing sales. Her ideas were as shitty as her attitude with clients. Alice doubled the magazines profit in her first year as editor.

"Edward are you even listening to me?" She stood behind her glass desk eyes narrowed and her lips pursed.

I smiled apologetically. I really couldn't deal with the wrath this morning and I'd learnt keeping my mouth shut was the best way to avoid it. After a few moment she sighed before throwing herself into the sage green armchair behind her.

"Listen Cullen, I know you don't want to be here but could you at least try and show some interest in the magazine?" I nodded reluctantly before leaning my head back in the chair and rubbing my eyes.

"Fuck. I need some coffee." I could hear Alice drumming her nails on the desk. I looked up and she was staring at me expectantly "I mean Alice, darling, could you please send someone out to get me coffee?" She cleared her throat before picking up her office phone and keying in an extension number before hitting the speaker button.

"Seth honey, I have a tall, dark and handsome in my office and he would appreciate it if you could get him some caffeine." She fiddled with her cell phone as she spoke.

"Isn't Mr Tall, Dark and Handsome lucky I'm so good at my job. I'll be up as soon as Jessica gets back with it."

"Seth you can't make Jessica do your work for much longer. I'm firing her today."

"Oh thank God! I am so sick of her... Just there Jess... and those skanky faux Choos. Anyway I'm coming up now see you in two."

I heard the phone go down on the other end and Alice beamed at me. She clearly loved her new assistant and to be honest, after hearing him bitch about anorexicca in front of her, I loved him a little bit too. Seconds later the door flew open.

"Well, well, well Mr Cullen. We finally meet. I must say you are even more beautiful in the flesh." he stood against the door frame in a purple paisley print shit tucked into the tightest pants I've ever seen a man wear. He snapped his fingers and anorexicca scuttled into the room and distributed the three Starbucks cups she was holding.

"Now. Out of my sight." Seth sneered at her and she was gone. Alice laughed as Seth slammed the door behind her and waved at it in jest. I smiled. The guy was a funny fucker. He stood behind Alice and fiddled with her hair, making sure not a single strand was out of place. I sipped my coffee silently as the office phone started ringing again.

"Alice Brandon's office, Seth speaking.... Oh hi Esme!. Yeah?. Uhuh. Uhuh. Mmm. Ok. Will do. See you in a second." He hung up the phone and turned to me. "Your Mom says...!" He cleared his throat before putting on a voice very similar to my Mom's. "If you refuse to co-operate today, I will be forced to fire you." I was a little shocked. His impression was perfect. His words hit me as my Mom breezed in through the door.

My Mom was one of those women who took care of herself. She had never been touched by a cosmetic surgeon but she still didn't look a day over 35. It was pretty incredible. Of course she dressed in amazing clothes and her hair always looked as if she'd stepped straight out of a salon. She looked at me the same way Alice had earlier, eyes narrowed lips pursed.

"You're hungover." It wasn't a question. He looked me up and down before quickly turning to hug Alice and then Seth. I stood from my chair and signalled for Alice to sit as my mother sat in the green chair from the other side of the desk. Seth and I both pulled plastic ones from against the wall and sat facing my Mom. She cleared her throat.

"Edward, as lovely as it is to see you I'm not going to pretend I'm not pissed with you." I hung my head. I knew exactly what she was talking about. There had been photo's in the paper of four different women leaving my penthouse all from the same night. I hated when my Mom was disappointed in me.

"Anyway, this meeting is not technically about that." My ears pricked up at the word technically. Mom leant back in her chair and pressed her hands together. "I meant what I said earlier Edward if you don't co-operate I will fire your ass. Just because your my son, doesn't mean I'm not your boss." I nodded reluctantly. I did not like where this was going.

"We need some damage control which is why you will be doing a weekly column for the magazine." My mouth fell open and my tongue nearly fell out. I looked between my Mom whose face dared me to argue with her and Alice who was smirking. She was fucking in on this. Fuck her and her weekly issues.

"... Wh... Um... really?" My Mom's eyebrows raised impossibly higher each time a syllable left my mouth. "I mean of course I'll do it but really I know nothing about fashion."

Alice smacked me on the head with her clipboard before standing and walking over beside my Mom.

"Edward you ass! Do you seriously think women who read fashion magazines only care about fashion? This is exactly why you're doing the column! You know absolutely nothing about women!" She was waving her clipboard around so much I was having trouble concentrating.

"I'm sorry but I know women. I've met my fair share of women." I wanted to laugh at her accusation. Edward Cullen knew women. My Mom cleared her throat again and all eyes fell on her.

"Yes you have met your fair share of women. You've fucked half of New York's share of women." My Mom actually said fuck!? My Mom. Said. Fuck. "But Alice is right. You know absolutely nothing about women. You don't know how to treat a woman and you certainly have no idea how to love a woman." I wanted to argue but I knew I'd lose.

"Edward you're to have your first column on my desk by Friday. I suggest you start writing it today." I looked to Alice in disbelief. This wasn't right. I was her boss not the other way around. "Write about whatever you want Edward as long as it comes back to working out what women want. Though you're gonna have to prove to these women that you're not a total asshat." I ran my hands through my hair and sighed dejectedly.

"Fine. I'll have it to you by Friday."

That evening I sat in front of my computer staring at the empty screen just willing words to appear. When they didn't I opened another beer and ran my fingers through my hair.

I looked at the screen again as my fingers brushed the keys lightly.

**What do women want? **

The cursor flashed at me mockingly behind my words. I reached over to pick up my cell and call Jasper for advice. It beeped at my furiously before shutting off. I hadn't charged it for nearly a week. That was my own damn fault. I chucked it back at the desk and was suddenly plunged into darkness. A fuse had obviously blown. I stood from my chair and walked over to the fusebox in the hallway. I tripped on the jacket I'd thrown on the floor as I left my bedroom.

"Fuck!" I felt myself falling in slow motion and reached out to steady myself. My hand met the heavy wooden end table my designer had insisted I needed. My chest hit the floor first and before I knew it the end table fell on my head knocking me unconscious.

**AN: Everyone loves a cliffhanger, leave me some love while I work on chapter 2.**


	3. Chapter 2: Women Want My Cock

**AN: I don't own it I just turned Edward into an asshole.**

**If you're too young to do it you're too young to read it.**

Chapter 3: _My Name Is Edward Cullen And Women Want My Cock._

I thrusted into her filthy little mouth as I came straight down her throat. I watched her eyes water as the tip of my cock hit the back of her throat. Sick I know but it made me want to come all over again. I pulled out of her mouth and took my dick in my hand pumping it a few times in preparation for round two. She flipped onto her back and her feet hooked over my shoulders. Lifting her hips I thrust into her hard, filling her completely. Her mouth formed a perfect 'O' shape as I pulled out and pushed in deeper than before. Her hands flew to her hair when my thumb found her clit. I smirked to myself. I fucking loved it when bitches lost control. I let myself get lost in the warmth of her pussy for a few moments, enjoying the sound of my sack slapping against her. Watching as her tits bounced with every thrust. Her wetness was all over me, spreading almost as far as my bellybutton. I could feel my orgasm building and purposely started fucking her harder. She pushed me backwards so she was riding me and licked my face.

Wait ... she was licking my face?

"Good boy Cunnilingus." I suddenly realised I was dreaming and Emmett's dog was licking my face. My eyes flew open and I shoved the dirty mutt off me as I sat up. Cunnilingus proceeded to lick his balls. Yes my brother named his dog Cunnilingus. Fucking dickhead.

"What happened to you last night dear brother? I tried calling your cell but it was off so I came here and there you are lying on the floor in your hallway with a fucking end table on your head."

Emmett owned a fancy Italian restaurant down the street from my hotel and he often made visits when he wasn't needed there. I have to say he made amazing ravioli and if he wasn't my brother I'd tell him. I rubbed my head. Felling a fucking huge lump right on the back.

"Ow fuck!" I stood up and stretched my back out before rearranging my rather obvious hard on. It'd been a couple weeks since he'd seen any action poor guy needed to be buried in a nice warm gash. Emmett coughed exaggeratedly, I looked over to see him staring at me expectantly.

"What?" I walked into the kitchen and pulled a couple of beers of of the fridge. Opening them with my teeth I opened the sliding door and Cunnilingus ran out onto the balcony. Emmett snatched a beer off me.

"Quit fucking around little brother and tell me why I found your ass unconscious in the hallway."

I sighed, running my hands through my hair as I flopped onto my squishy leather sofa.

"If you must know a fuse blew downstairs or something. It was like a power cut or some shit. Anyway I tripped over my jacket and knocked myself unconscious." Emmett immediately burst out into loud, obnoxious laughter. Asshole. I flipped him the bird and went into my bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I could still hear his muffled laughter as I stripped off my clothes and started running the shower.

The water stung my head as it hit the fucking enormous lump. I was smashing up that shitting end table and burning the fucker. I closed my eyes and tried to let the hot water calm me but it was no use. All I could think about was the fucking column. Call me a Mommas boy but I hated upsetting my Mom. I couldn't blame her for being angry with me, I was a cock and it was only recently that Emmett started behaving himself. That was because of Rosalie Hale, a blessing in disguise.

My brother used to be worse than me. In fact he taught me everything I know. Though he was more of a practical joker. Still he never seemed to get caught nearly as often as I did. On my 21st birthday Emmett took me to a strip club. Got me trashed and paid for a private dance for me. I was taken into one of the seedy little back rooms and this ho straddled me and started grinding and shit. Anyway to cut a long story short, the ho was actually a bro and I didn't find out until she .. er.. he took his panties off and I saw his junk all strapped up and shit. I fucking screamed like a bitch and ran the whole way home. Emmett taped the whole fucking thing and showed my Dad. Who seemed to think it was hilarious. They like to do impressions of me whenever they get the chance.

Then my big brother met Rosalie. Rosalie was absolutely stunning, you know the girls in the swimsuit edition of sports illustrated, well Rosalie was single-handedly hotter than all of them. Combined. She had long blonde hair, tits like torpedoes and an ass to make J-Lo jealous. She'd been working as a waitress at Emmett's restaurant for a week when he met her. The story goes that Emmett grabbed her ass as she walked past him in the kitchen. Rose turned around and punched him in the face and told him 'touch me again meathead and I'll rip your head off and shit down your neck!' Emmett smiled at her and she smiled back and said 'Honey if you want to touch the goods you'll have to get to know me first.' They arranged their first date and got on like peanut butter and jelly. It's safe to say they've been fucking like rabbits ever since.

"Dude, hurry up I came here to talk to you not wait around while you whack off in the shower." Emmett was banging on the bathroom door now. Fucks sake. I sighed and turned the water off grabbing a towel. I opened the door to find Emmett on the other side beaming at me. I raised an eyebrow.

"You'll never guess what Rosie told me last night?" I rolled my eyes. I'm pretty sure I didn't want to know. Emmett followed as I walked to my bedroom and started to dress.

"You need a trip to the gym little brother all that fine Italian food is making you chubby." I wasn't getting chubby. I still had definition. Though he'd always ribbed me for being skinny. In reality I've never been skinny, it's just he's so damn huge everyone looks weedy in comparison.

"Fuck you." I threw my towel at him. "What did you want to tell me anyway?" He laughed. As he caught the towel and hung it over the top of my door. He had a smug grin on his face and his eyes were wide like dinner plates. I knew then that I really didn't want to fucking know.

"She had a girlfriend once Edward!?" I laughed at the way he was bouncing on the spot rubbing his hands together.

"You're excited about the fact that another chick has been down on your girl?" I didn't understand. Yes lesbians were hot but at the end of the day you have to accept you just don't do it for them. Fake lesbians on the other hand. Those I can enjoy.

"Oh little brother you have so much to learn." I shook my head at him. "Don't shake your head at me, what if she has pictures... Or a video! Fuck I didn't think about a video. Don't you see that this is fucking awesome?"

"Yes Emmett. I'm very happy for you." I smiled at him. "Now get the fuck out of here I have a column to write." I pulled a hoody on and pointed to the door. Emmett laughed all the way out of the building.

I sat back at the computer desk and turned on the monitor.

**My name is Edward Cullen and women want my cock. **

Somehow I didn't think Alice and my Mom would find that funny.

Writing shit was harder than it looked, especially when the subject is so fucking awkward. I tried to convince myself that I knew women, I knew what they wanted. Stuff. Women love stuff. Jewellery, clothes, perfume, shoes. Stuff. So what the fuck was I supposed to write?

I pushed my chair backwards as I stood and went over to the mirror. I looked at myself carefully. I was starting to look old. I ran my hands through my dirty blonde/mousy brown hair. Some chick referred to it as bronze once. Ha. That's another thing about women. They romanticise shit. Like really is it necessary to refer to my hair as bronze? I could fully understand why I had access to so much poon, Mom and Dad did a good job making me. I was hot. I had pretty good bone structure, an interesting face and really fucking green eyes. They were like emeralds they were that green. I fucking loved women and I also loved fucking them. Don't get me wrong I always made sure they got theirs. I wasn't that much of an ass. I just never called them. There were a couple I took to events and they seemed to think that meant they were my girlfriend. Tanya for example. I couldn't actually remember meeting her or fucking her for that matter but when I woke up with her tucked into my side I was a little proud of myself. She was hot. Leggy and blonde, she reminded me of Charlotte so when she woke up I stuck it in her ass. I never give the ladies a repeat performance in the morning but there was something about Tanya. The next day however I had a bombardment of texts all from a strange number, they started off innocent enough but got dirtier and dirtier the more I ignored them. When I went back to my apartment after lunch with Emmett Tanya was standing naked in my doorway. How she got in was a mystery but the way I saw it she was already naked might as well put her pussy to good use. I discovered over the days that followed that Tanya was horny all the time and she never got sore. I wasn't really complaining until she insisted I take her to the premier I was going to. I told her no and she broke down in front of me. She started screaming that she was pregnant and it was mine. I fucking freaked and started shouting at her that I always wrapped my shit and she couldn't possibly be pregnant. Anyway I told her to stay the fuck where she was until I got back. I drove to the drug store down the street and fucking prayed to God no one recognised me buying 5 million pregnancy tests. I got home and told Tanya I was going to watch her piss on every stick. Dirty bitch tried to distract me with sex but I'd met chicks like her before. They were trouble. We sat in silence as we waited for the pregnancy tests to 'season' When they all came back negative I laughed in her face and kicked her out. I phoned my lawyer to organise a restraining order and now Tanya cannot even be in the same state as me. Jenks is that good. I didn't go to the premier that night.

My stomach rumbled and I realised I hadn't eaten since the pizza I ordered when I got in from my meeting yesterday. Knowing there was nothing in my fridge I called Jasper.

"Hey beautiful." He answered on the second ring.

"You know it's still weird that you call me beautiful?" I started picking up the empty beer bottles littered around my suite.

"It makes life more interesting. What do you want anyway? It better be good I'm supposed to meet Emmett he says he has news for me." I chuckled

"Emmett's going to tell you that Rose used to be a muff diver. He's really fucking excited about it too." Holy shit there was a lot of crap in here.

Jazz laughed. "I guess he's glad they have something in common."

Jazz and I agreed we'd go to meet Emmett together. I was on my way to pick him up when I got a text from Alice.

_**Don't drink. Ur interviewing PA's this afternoon. Xx**_

Sweet I was getting a personal assistant. Maybe this column writing bullshit wasn't gonna be hard. I'd get my assistant to do it. Another text from Alice came through.

_**PA's don't write columns.**_

I couldn't help butlaugh. Alice seemed to know everything. I pulled up in front of Alice and Jaspers house and honked my horn. Jazz smiled as he jumped down the steps and yanked the car door open.

"Hey beautiful." He made a move like he was gonna kiss my cheek. I punched his leg hard.

"Seriously. Do you want someone to take a picture of your gay ass?"

Jazz rubbed his leg. "I can see the headlines now.." He gestured a headline in the air as he spoke. Prick. "Heartthrob Jasper Whitlock in sordid affair with Edward Cullen. .. no wait Jasper Whitlock and Edward Cullen 'We Love Ass'" I couldn't help but laugh at him. Jazz may be a successful singer now but he was still a huge gee at heart. Jazz was a heartthrob though. With his chin length wavy blonde hair and baby blue eyes, the Southern accent destroyed panties too.

We pulled into the secret car park to Emmett's restaurant. There were always paparazzi lurking around the public car park, they hadn't quite figured out none of us ever parked there. Jazz opened the gate and we waved at the guys smoking in the alley behind the kitchen. We let ourselves in through the back door and I was immediately hit by the smell of basil, hot butter and sun-dried tomato. Emmett's kitchen always smelt amazing. I waved at the head chef Demetri and he smiled back.

"I bet he does amazing things with those fingers." I turned to look at the waitress stood next to me sampling the garlic bread. Perhaps I was hearing things. She couldn't have spoken so clearly with a mouth full of food. She waved at me and I threw her a confused look. No she didn't speak. I was going mad.

I shook my head and followed Jasper out into the restaurant. It was really loud in there. There were women making orgasm noises everywhere. I wanted what they were having.

"Jazz is it just me or does it sound like the food is extra good today?" he turned to look at me confused.

"What are you talking about?" How could he not hear it. These women were so loud. It was like listening to an orgy. Maybe I was insane.

We sat at a table in the corner away from everyone and waited for Emmett. A young guy came to the table to take our drinks orders and told us Emmett would be out in a minute he was just signing some paperwork. Rosalie brought our drinks to us. If she wasn't fucking my brother I'd definitely have a go on that. That ass could certainly take some pounding. I needed to get over my obsession with anal.

"Why did I tell Emmett about me and Lauren? He's got some serious issues now. I am not telling him about the tape. In fact I'm destroying it as soon as I get in." I was taking a swig of my coke when Rosalie spoke and started choking on it.

"Dude what is wrong with you today?" Jazz had an eyebrow raised. Had he gone deaf. Rosalie was telling us about a tape she made with a girl!? I looked at Rosalie, she was smiling.

"I'm definitely fucking the right brother. Edward is an asshole." My mouth fell open as she walked away.

"Please tell me you heard her call me an asshole?" I looked at Jasper he was shaking his head at looking at me like I was crazy.

"She didn't say anything Edward. Are you okay?"

Okay so no one else could hear what I could. Rosalie obviously didn't know I knew she thought I was an asshole. Though she would have called me one anyway. Was I hearing her thoughts? Is that what that was with the girl in the kitchen. No. I was officially insane. I was hearing women's thoughts!?

I stood from my seat quickly, knocking my coke over as I did so. I ran out through the kitchen apologising as I ran into the girl in the kitchen.

"_Oh you can run into me any time you like big boy"_

How? Why? What? FUCK! This wasn't right. In fact it was more than not right. It was fucking insane.

I drove recklessly to the hotel and took the back stairs. I couldn't risk bumping into another woman.

Pacing my suite I tried to work out what had caused this. I swigged straight from a bottle of Jack. My phone kept ringing but I ignored it. I really didn't want to talk to anyone right now. I made my way into the hallway and saw the scene of the crime from last night. I had an idea. I threw myself at the floor in the hopes in would knock me unconscious and reverse this shit. But it didn't. It just really hurt. I curled up into a ball and started rocking.

I was fucked.

**AN: mhmmmm... yeah I did **

**Let me know what you think**


	4. Chapter 3:My Strongest Point Sex

**AN: I don't own it I just fuck with it. I do however own a Cullen baseball hoody. Go Me.**

**If you can't buy your own wank material, you can't read this!**

**Okay so my updating is poor but this chapter just didn't want to be written. Stick with me please? **

Chapter 3_: I'll begin with what I believe to be my strongest point. Sex_

I slouched in the stool, picking at the label on my bottle. There were only a few women in the bar and I'd discovered the more I drank the quieter their voices got until I could barely hear them at all. I'd headed over to Newtons bar earlier on that afternoon after noticing I had no beer at home.

As the night went on the bar started to fill up, that in turn meant more women and more beer I had to drink in order to tune them out. A girl walked over to me and drained my beer before placing her hand gently on my shoulder.

"You look like you need a friend." her voice was soft but sultry. She smiled at me.

"You shouldn't be talking to me..." I wanted to tell her it was because I was completely insane and If I wasn't so drunk I'd be able to tell her what she was thinking. For some reason though I didn't want to turn her away like I had every other woman that night. I looked up into her big chocolatey eyes and could've sworn I saw a flash of disappointment. She was beautiful, her skin looked like it would be soft to the touch and she smelt of strawberries and cream. Her long wavy brown hair just skimmed her tiny waist. She couldn't have been much more than 21 but her eyes held some kind of wisdom that was beyond her years. I was distracted by a tall guy, who could probably take on Emmett in a fight, clearing his throat behind her. "...I don't think your boyfriend would like it." She was confused as she looked around the bar before her eyes fell upon the big guy. She laughed as I stood from my stool.

"I think it's time I took my drunk ass home. It was lovely to meet you." I waved as I stumbled out the door and back to my suite. That night I dreamt of chocolate brown eyes and strawberries.

The phone ringing against the pillow woke me up.

_I predict a riot, I predict a riot, I predict a riot, I predict a riot.'_

My ring tone for Alice always made me laugh. Emmett had set it to the Kaiser chiefs after we'd spent an afternoon joking about the fact she only calls me when she's angry.

"Hello Alice."

"........" I knew she was there, I could hear her breathing.

"Alice?" 

"I'm waiting for my apology." Her voice was like acid. Oh man she was properly pissed.

"...I'm sorry?" I didn't mean for it to come out like a question.

"When I give you instructions to do something Edward I expect you to actually do it. I don't have the time to sit around and wait for you all fucking afternoon only for you not to show up. For someone who values their cock as much as you do you're treading on very fucking thin ice. You're lucky I didn't call Esme. Now I'm willing to give you a second chance seeing as Jazz thought you might be ill after you ran out of Emmett's yesterday but know this Edward you won't be getting another one. You need to meet me here in exactly 2 hours. You're going to be with me for the secondary interviews or I WILL call Esme."

"Yes Al.."

"I'm not done yet. Don't interrupt me! Don't for a second think I'm not angry with you. You ruined my evening. Jazz and I were supposed to have celebratory 'we're getting married sex'. But you had to go and mess that up too didn't you!?" 

"Alice you got engaged like 6 months ago, its not celebratory now until your actually married . And anyway how exactly did me not showing up stop you" I laughed

"Again with the interruptions! If you must know Edward I didn't want to have sex with Jasper while I couldn't stop thinking about how angry I was with you! I might have accidentally ripped his head off!"

"Should I be flattered that you think of me when you're fucking Jasper?" That was probably a stupid move but I couldn't resist the urge to wind her up.

"I just told you I didn't want to think..." She sighed, I couldn't help but smile. "Fuck you Cullen. Get your ass down here." Bitch hung up on me.

While I was showering I came to the conclusion that hearing women's thoughts wasn't necessarily a bad thing. If Mom and Alice were right and I didn't know anything about women (PFFT!) then it could only help me right? Especially with the column. I dried off and quickly pulled on a pair of jeans and a cable knit sweater. I still had just over an hour to kill before I had to be at 'Fille' so I sat in front of my computer with a coffee and began to type.

**I'm Edward. I'm 27 and I think I know about women. According to the most important woman in my life, my Mom, I don't. On this page right here, I'll be writing about my experiences with women past and present. I'll be telling you what I think women want and whether I'm right or wrong I hope you enjoy reading it anyway.**

**I'll begin with what I believe to be my strongest point. Sex. **

**Now ladies, I'm sorry but you've been rumbled. If I was to ask any of you what you like in bed I'm sure you'd tell me you like a man to make you feel special, as if you're the only woman in the entire world. You'd tell me you like it sweet and slow, gentle and loving. This ladies would be a lie.**

**Lets be honest, you like it rough. You all do. You want to lose your inhibitions and have raw animalistic sex. You don't really want a guy to make love to you. You want him to fuck your brains out. You like to be bitten and even more than that you like to bite. You can't deny it because I've had my share of teeth marks to prove it. If you think to the best sex you have ever had can you honestly tell me it was 'love making'? I didn't think so.**

**I'm going to go off on a little rant here and I could be putting my foot in it but women moan about all the mistakes guys make during sex but you rarely hear men complaining about women. You girls do a lot of things we don't like but at the end of the day if you both get off then mission accomplished right? There is no right and wrong when it comes to doing the dirty! **

**There is no such thing as unwanted attention from men. Outwardly you're turning your nose up at the guy who wolf whistled at you but the insecure little girl on the inside is doing back flips because she got attention from something with a penis. Another thing, you're very hypocritical. You check out guys and if my female friends are anything to go by, women are far more perverted than men. **

**Scientists say you're more attracted to guys who physically would make good fathers. Muscular guys are more attracted because in caveman times they were probably the best hunters, therefore could provide their families with more food etc. etc. This works the same with guys. Guys are attracted to girls with big racks because psychologically they think they'd be better at breastfeeding. Though in my opinion when a guy is looking at a chick with big titties he's thinking more 'I wonder how high those things bounce' than 'Think how many babies those could feed'**

**To conclude my point this week is that ladies, you're perverted liars, you love it rough and you can't wait for a guy to hit you on the head and drag you back to his cave.**

I smiled triumphantly as I hit the print button and saved the file to the memory stick Alice had given me. I shoved all my shit in my pockets and ran down to my garage. I had a lot of cars, many of them Volvo's but the C70 was always my favourite, even though Emmett said I looked gay with the top down. I was initially torn between two colours but I went with the ice white, it made me look less like an old man trying to recapture his youth. I jumped in the C70 and made it to 'Fille' with time to spare.

I'd almost forgotten about my little problem until I walked through the front doors.

"_I could come just looking at that face" _

"_I bet he's got a massive cock."_

"_Oh My God it's Edward Cullen!"_

"_If I pull my shirt down a little more, he might see my nipples. He'd probably like that."_

I would be lying if I said my ego didn't swell the second I walked in that building. Being perved on by women was totally awesome. I smiled and nodded at each of the women before strolling towards Alice's office.

"_I totally would."_

I looked over to the blonde girl walking in the opposite direction.

"Hi there." She smiled back at me.

I continued walking and let myself straight in to Alice's office. I leant against the door frame watching as she scrawled on a notebook.

"_Fucking piece of shit ass hole AAARRRGHHHHH" _She picked up the notebook and launched it at the door before slamming her head repeatedly on the desk, completely unaware I was watching her.

I cleared my throat and she lifted her head narrowing her eyes at me.

_"Prick."_

I smiled reaching into my back pocket and pulled out my column. Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open.

"_He actually did the column? Oh My."_

She tried to grab it out of my hands but I pulled it out of her reach dangling it above her head. I laughed as she jumped up and down trying to snatch it off me.

"Edward.... Cullen ... Give... me .. the ... Fuck You!" She shoved me in the gut and dropped the paper clutching my winded stomach. Once I'd regained the ability to breathe I watched her eyes scan over the piece of paper, she put it to the side of her and stared at me, her face void of any emotion.

"_Don't give it away Alice. Don't give it away" _

I was about to throw myself in an armchair when Alice leapt over her desk and wrapped me in the tightest hug known to man.

"Edward it's brilliant. I didn't think you had it in you! The readers are going to love it."

"_Your cocky ass hole attitude is going to earn the magazine even more publicity!"_

Well fuck. I wasn't expecting that. Yeah I was going to do it. I didn't wanna upset her and I sure as hell didn't want Mom to be any more pissed at me. If I'm honest though I didn't expect her to think it was good!

"Ali honey, your 2 o'clock is here." Seth's voice chirped from the intercom. Alice put me down and told him to send her in.

"Okay Edward. Don't say anything. Leave it to me." I was about to protest when there was a gentle knocking at the door.

I was looking out the window when I heard Alice open the door and greet my potential PA. The room was filled with the smell of strawberries and cream and I span around to be met by the smiling brown eyes of the girl from last night.

"Edward this is Isabella." Alice closed the door behind the beautiful girl.

She took a step forward and started to speak. "Please call me Bellaaaarrrgghh!" The heel of her shoe caught on the edge of Alice's rug and she fell forwards and faceplanted the floor. Her knees were bent and her skirt had ridden up exposing her floral patterned granny panties.

"_Fuck My Life."_

I ran to help her up. As soon as our skin touched a jolt of electricity shot up my arm.

"You're hired."

**AN: yeahhh what did you think?**


	5. Chapter 4:Did It Have To Be Laundry Day?

**AN- You know the drill, if you can't supply the keg at a party you can't read the filth that comes out when I put my fingers to a keyboard.**

**None of it's mine, I just like to fuck shit up.**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 4: _Why Did It Have To Be Laundry Day?_

I sat on my bed staring into my wardrobe. Why was finding something to wear so incredibly impossible. I would have quite happily stayed in my pink flannel pyjamas all day but I didn't think that would get me the job.

"Bella?" I heard Jake shout my name from the other room.

"I'm up Jake." I shouted back, shortly afterwards my bedroom door opened to reveal my huge little brother smiling at me. I smiled back and he sat on the bed next to me. I leant my head against his arm and sighed.

"Bells, you've been planning this interview for weeks, you know what you're going to wear. Stop letting your nerves get to you." He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed. I instantly felt more relaxed.

"Besides they'd be stupid if they didn't give you a job. You're the most reliable, hard-working, honest girl I've ever met."

I pulled myself upright and smiled at Jake. "Thank you JJ"

He patted me on the back before leaving me to get dressed.

My Mom and Dad had wanted different things. Charlie wanted a small town life as Chief of Police. He wanted his dinner on the table when he got home and to watch the game on weekends with his buddies. Renee was a little too glamorous for Forks, Washington. She loved the city, she loved to be surrounded by people. They loved each other but it was never enough. I was a year old when they'd decided their marriage was never going to work. It was better for both of them that they weren't together. Renee brought me to Seattle where she met Billy. She and Billy were soul mates, they were perfect for each other, they married after just 6 months of knowing each other and it was the right thing to do. Billy was from a reservation in the area and he too had always wanted something more. He and Renee balanced each other out. They just worked. I was 3 when Jacob was born. He wasn't just my brother, he was my best friend. Jake copied everything I did. On my first day of Elementary Jake missed me so much he dressed in my clothes and told everyone he was me. Jake came to Charlies with me every weekend and he even took on my habit of calling our parents by their first names. We had a mutual agreement that it wasn't fair to choose between calling Billy or Charlie Dad seeing as they both raised us so we called everybody by their first name.

When I moved to New York for college, Jake and I would spend hours on the phone talking every night and as soon as he graduated he came to live with me. He got an apprenticeship with a mechanic and he was happy. It was probably wrong of me but whenever I went out with friends he came with us. Being under-age was never a problem for him, he was so fucking massive he looked 25! Its understandable why the guy from the bar the night before had thought Jake was my boyfriend. People who didn't know we were related often thought we were an item. See we didn't look alike. At all. I was short and pasty and although I had curves, I'd always been very lucky with my weight. Jake was tall and absolutely huge. No joke. He had muscles on his muscles. Okay maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration but he was massive and tanned. Of course he was, Billy was of Native American descent. He was tall too, really tall.

I pulled on my grey skirt with a navy blue shirt. Slipping on the pair of black stilettos Renee sent me as a good luck charm for my interview I checked myself out in the mirror. I looked hot. I fluffed my hair and put on a little mascara. I met Jake in the kitchen and he handed me a coffee. He looked me up and down before raising his eyebrows.

"Are they a good idea?" He pointed to my shoes. I was well known for my ability to trip on flat surfaces.

"I know but I wanted to look pretty." I shrugged my shoulders before taking a seat at the counter.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Bells you don't need fancy shoes to look pretty. You ARE pretty."

I poked my tongue out at him before downing the rest of my coffee.

"I gotta run JJ. I don't wanna be late." I pulled on my red mac and threw my purse over my shoulder before waving and running out the door.

My apartment was on the ground floor, I'd hunted all over the city for somewhere that I couldn't kill myself on the way to. I hopped into my 62 Ford Thunderbird and headed for 'Fille'

I loved my car. It had been a graduation present from the parents. My Thunderbird was baby blue with a white leather interior. Technically it had been from Jake too as he did most of the restoration and he was always tinkering with it when I wasn't looking.

I walked through the front doors of 'Fille' and waited at the front desk. A model wannabe was painting her nails. I cleared my throat and she looked up at me.

"Hi." She stared at me before going back to painting the shocking pink colour on her nails. There was one thing I couldn't stand above everything else and that was rudeness. It was so unnecessary and well ... rude!

I coughed exaggeratedly and still she refused to acknowledge my presence. I was pissed. I hitched my purse up on my shoulder before rolling my sleeves up and placing my finger under the skinny little bitches chin. I brought her face up to look at me. The deer caught in headlights look on her face almost made me laugh. Almost.

"Listen honey, I don't like to be ignored. I don't like to be spoken to like a piece of shit. I'm here to see Alice Brandon. Now could you kindly pull the stick out your ass and buzz to let her know I'm here." She nodded and I readjusted my attire. When I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Oh you did not just touch me!?" I spun around to teach the whore another lesson when I was met by the smirking face of Alice's assistant. I immediately flushed beetroot red. My hand flew over my mouth. I wanted to cry.

"Oh My God. I'm so sorry I.." He was laughing and shaking his head.

"Don't apologise. That has to be the funniest thing I've seen round her for a while." He pointed to the girl at the desk. "Get your finger off that fucking button!" He turned to her and narrowed his eyes before looking back to me. "I'm Seth by the way. I guess you're Isabella?" I nodded

"Just.. Bella." He smiled again and I couldn't help but notice how white and sparkly his teeth were. I think my head actually leaned a little to the left to get a better look. He guided me into a room along the corridor. I guess it was his office. It was beautiful. Full of rich colours, blood reds, deep purples and gold. Lots of gold. Like being in a palace. If I hadn't noticed Seth's obvious gay vibe before, I definitely had then. He gestured for me to sit in one of the purple chairs and handed me a cup of coffee.

"I think we're going to get along great Bella." He touched my knee. My eyebrows knitted together. He must have noticed my confusion because he quickly followed with, "Oh I have no doubt you're going to be hired. If Alice sees any of the sass I saw just now.." He waggled his finger in an up and down motion. "She will LOVE you." He pouted his lips and nodded as if to confirm the fact.

I sipped my coffee for lack of something else to do. I didn't know how exactly to respond.

He was positively beamed as he buzzed his boss to let her know I was here. I could feel my stomach doing loops as I heard her tell him to send me in. He ushered me out of the room and pointed at the door next to his before wrapping me into a tight hug.

"Knock 'em dead. Bella." he released me and scurried back down the hallway. I took a deep breath to calm myself. I curled my fingers into a fist and rapped on the door.

As the door swung open my eyes met Alice Brandon. She was short and slim with thick shiny black hair styled carefully to look as if she'd just got out of bed. I felt a little intimidated by this woman. I mean she was only a few years older than me but she was one of the most powerful women in New York. She was beautiful too, she didn't wear much make-up but the little she did wear highlighted all of her best features. If I was into girls I would definitely want a piece of that.

"Edward this is Isabella." Alice closed the door behind me and I looked up to see the guy from the bar staring back at me. He looked surprised to say the least, though he couldn't have been more surprised that I was. I tried to hit on Edward Cullen!?

I realised they were waiting for me to speak so I went ahead to tell them to call me Bella but as I stepped forward my fucking shoe got caught on the rug and I fell face first into the sage green rug. Of course I did. I was Bella Swan, queen of the klutz. Why did it have to be laundry day? My ass was in the air and my floral granny panties were staring Edward Cullen in the face. I actually wanted the ground to swallow me whole. I felt the blood rushing to my cheeks and considered the chances of crawling out the room right now and not being noticed. It wasn't going to happen. I felt Edward take my hand and attempt to pull me up. Electricity shot up my arm and I wondered whether it was from embarrassment or if he had on one of those little buzzers they sold in joke shops. I decided on the first when our eyes met and he practically whispered.

"You're hired."

I coughed in surprise and jumped to my feet quickly.

"Erm.... What?"

Was it really necessary for me to be a total dick every day. I mean really I was about to argue the fact I'd just been told I was hired. I immediately regretted speaking when Edward started laughing.

"This is your problem Edward. This is why I told you not to speak. You make rash decisions and don't even think about anyone else." Alice had a hand on her hip and was pointing at Edward with the other. He simply laughed and flung himself into an armchair. She turned to me. "No offence Bella. I was going to hire you anyway, I just wanted Edward to show some shred of maturity and actually consider doing something the correct way."

I smiled and let her know I understood. She asked me to take a seat and we spent the next couple of hours discussing what my responsibilities were, how much I'd get paid, holidays blah blah blah. I probably should have listened a little better but I was distracted by Edwards presence next to me. My breathing hitched every time he spoke and I had to keep crossing and uncrossing my legs in case my vagina burst out of my skirt and sucked him in. I barely knew this man but he was having an incredible effect on my body just by sitting next to me and now I was going to be spending nearly everyday working for him. I was in trouble. We all exchanged numbers and I had to it on my hands to stop them from shaking. I had Edward Cullen's number in my cell! He stood up and looked to Alice.

"I'm really sorry I've gotta go meet Emmett. I'll erm... I guess I'll see you tomorrow Bella?" I looked across at Alice who was smiling and nodding.

"Yeah. I'll see you in the morning." I shuffled my feet and twisted my hands together. I wished I could tell him I'd see him in the morning cos I'd be in his bed all night but unfortunately for me that wasn't going to be the case. He chuckled before grabbing my hand and pulling me out of my seat.

"...Unless you'd like to come to dinner with me?" My eyes flew open and I think I forgot how to breathe. ".. and my brother... as my assistant of course. We could talk some more about your new job..." I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed but at the same time I wanted to punch myself in the face for being so stupid. This man was my new boss, I'd known him only a few hours and I expected him to wanna fuck my brains out.

"I think that would be a great idea. It'd give you guys a chance to get comfortable with each other, you'll be spending a lot of time together..." I couldn't help but notice the way Alice's words were sort of suggestive? Like she was hinting at something.

I looked between Alice and Edward and shrugged my shoulders. "I guess I don't really have anything else to do."

Alice clapped her hands together before squealing "Excellent!" She then proceeded to tell Edward to pick me up at 8 and practically shoved him out of her office.

I scratched my head in confusion as Alice practically threw her back against the closed door. She was spread out in a star shape and I had to fight the urge to laugh. She let out a long sigh and closed her eyes.

"Bella you need to be careful." My eyebrow knitted together as she walked towards me. "You're going to be good for Edward but... you have to have patience."

"I don't... erm?" She held a finger in the air before rubbing her temples and sitting back behind her desk. I tensed, afraid I was in trouble already.

"Seriously Bella?" She smiled and I relaxed back into the chair. "You could have cut the sexual tension in here with a spoon!! Now I'm not going to pretend that I don't agree with relationships in the workplace because I'm too soppy to ever be angry at anyone for being happy but Edward is ... well he's Edward. " I knew exactly what she meant. Renee was a sucker for celebrity gossip and she had me subscribed to hundreds of different trashy magazines which for some reason always ended up next to the toilet. Jake called it his library. I hadn't seen the appeal of reading while your taking a crap but I succumbed and I'd never looked back.

"I'm not surprised Bella. You're a beautiful girl and if Edward wasn't like a brother to me I'd probably want to fuck him too." I coughed in surprise. Alice laughed. "Don't put up with his crap."

I nodded and she stood to pull me into a hug.

"I think we're going to be great friends Bella." This was maybe a little forward but I didn't mind. I liked Alice. She seemed like fun and she wanted to be my friend. I couldn't argue with that. "Now you better run you have a date to get ready for."

She spun me around and pointed me to the door.

"I'll see you soon Bella. Good luck. Oh and on your way out tell Seth to fetch you the dress from issue 87. Edward will love it."

With that she closed the door behind me. Seth had been happy to see me again and got very excited when I asked for the dress. I didn't look at it until I got home and I'd almost had a nervous breakdown when I took it out of the bag. It was navy blue silk and knee length. Fairly simple, it went in at the waist and had ruffles along a V at the neck. I slipped it on and tried to ignore the designer label staring me in the face. I wanted to get down on my knees and chant 'I'm not worthy' but it was only a dress and to these people a $600 dollar price tag was nothing. To me buying new socks was a luxury.

I was entering another world and I had a feeling it wasn't going to be plain sailing.

**AN- mhmmm....**

**as always leave me some loving. I've also gone and got myself a twitter. Follow me **_screwthevolturi_

**Peace and love and shit XX**


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